Tips for friendship.

Just listened to a great podcast with Caroline Mcguire, I know I can be guilty of oversharing and wanting someone to be my best friend the minute I meet them, These tips were a great reminder of setting some boundaries around conversation sharing and how to find the best friends.

Tips for Friendship.

Small talk is how you feel people out and see if they are going to be a good friend. Don’t rush into calling people your friend that moment you have a first good interaction with them. Label them first as an emerging friend or acquantance and give yourself some time to assess and watch how they treat others to see if this person is worthy of moving into your inner friend circle.

A few things to imediately shut down a relationship over.

• Gossiping.
• Excluding people or disrespecting others.
• Belittling you or not respecting your boundaries.

4 steps to transformative change.

I created this process as I wanted a process to follow when thinking about creating new habits or evaluating my life and what areas I might like to improve on. Most importantly I wanted to make sure that when I embarked on a specific change I wanted it to be as successful as I could make it, to make sure I had planned as best I could and set myself up for success.

The following is what I came up with from agile methods, looking at personal agility and Mel Robbins and Tony Robbins and my overall experiences and readings.

The personal growth change process.

Practices in each step of the process.

Template to record your supporting reminders.

When thinking about goals, remember to use SMART as a key. Some extra reminders I have come across recently is.

In specific use I am statements. e.g I am exercising regularly as part of a healthy lifestyle.

In Measurable – say what the metrics is. e.g 3 times a week.

In Achievable – say when you are doing it. E.g tues, thurs and Saturdays

In Relatable – say why it’s important to you. – e.g so that I am healthy for my family.

In timely – say when it needs to be done by.

Team types

It has been bothering me for a while now, having been in various different types of teams. Everyone one of which was called a team and was coerced into trying to fit the standard scrum team mould.

I believe not every group of people is a team. That each group requires different considerations. I got a bit lost in the depth of analysis on my initial deep dive into this topic. My recent reading of the Team Topoligies book got me thinking that maybe I can make it simpler.

This is my Team types of which people can belong to multiple options.

Types of teams.

For example, while employed as an agile coach I was in the co workers group for the company. I was in the community of practice for the Agile Coaches, I was in a complicated sub system (Dynamic working) group for the work I was doing around Jira and I was supporting various stream aligned teams as a enabling team of Agile coaches.

In each of these I needed different things from the team in order to excel. Some I was very collaborative like the complicated sub system and the community of practice. In the enabling team I was facilitating, coaching and mentoring. In the co workers group, I was very much an individual.

I used to feel that each group would then have different needs from management. However lately I have been thinking that they need a continuum of the same things. Some need more and some need less depending on their stage towards high performance as illustrated in the below diagrams.

What a team needs

Teams pathway to high performance based on Tuckmans model.

This feels more complete for me now, I feel it also helps to define your teams structure to work out where your team might need more and options to support that either as a team member yourself of as the leadership supporting that team.

Reflecting on boundaries worksheet.

Instructions:

1. Reflect on the questions provided and write down your responses.
2. Use the responses to identify potential boundaries and unique characteristics.
3. Examine each potential boundary to determine its effectiveness and longevity.
4. Separate real boundaries from wish list items by considering whether they point back to your own behavior and needs.
5. Test the concept against real-life situations for consistency and its impact on personal growth.
6. Share the idea with others and consider their questions and reactions.
7. Evaluate whether each boundary makes you a better person and if it aligns with who you want to be.
8. Use the final list of boundaries to guide your future actions and decisions.

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Think about where your personal boundaries or rules used when you were happiest:

• What was important to you?
• How did you behave?
• What was unique about you?
• What were you proudest of?
• Were there important consistencies in your thinking or behavior that you can name?

Think about where your boundaries are today:

• What has changed?
• What boundaries do you wish you had in place but think are currently missing or being ignored by you or others?

Examine your potential boundaries and unique characteristics:

• Determine whether they will be long-lasting and effective rules for your future.
• Separate real boundaries from wish list items by considering whether they point back to your own behavior and needs.
• Test the concept against real-life situations for consistency and its impact on personal growth.
• Share the idea with others and consider their questions and reactions.
• Evaluate whether each boundary makes you a better person and aligns with who you want to be.

Worksheet:

1. Reflect on your past:

• Describe the important values and behaviors that made you happiest.
• Identify the unique characteristics or consistencies in your thinking and behavior.
• What were you proudest of in terms of your actions and decisions?

1. Assess your current boundaries:

• Describe any changes that have occurred in your boundaries over time.
• Identify any boundaries that you feel are missing or being ignored by yourself or others.

1. Examine potential boundaries and unique characteristics:

• List the potential boundaries that you have identified from your reflections.
• Determine if each boundary is for your own behavior and needs or if it points back to another person.
• Test the concept of each boundary against real-life situations for consistency.
• Share the potential boundaries with others and note their questions and reactions.
• Evaluate whether each boundary makes you a better person and aligns with your desired future.

1. Finalize your boundaries:

• Select the boundaries that are long-lasting, effective, and align with who you want to be.
• Separate real boundaries from wish list items.
• Review the questions: Does each boundary make you a better person? Is it necessary for your personal growth and well-being?
• Use the final list of boundaries to guide your future actions and decisions.

Remember, boundaries are personal and may differ for each individual. It’s important to consider what is best for your own well-being and growth.

Sorting my digital files.

Working through the building a second brain information from Tiago Forte, I have set these as my process reminders.

This image shows how information comes in and what applications I use. From there I organise the files / notes, information – using notability or Miro. Then I use Wordress and Canva to bring the information to life.

Then I needed to think about the structure I wanted to use and how that would flow across the various applications. How the applications would work with each other to make my informaiton work for me.